Lessons I've Learned From Grandma #1

I’ve learned many lessons during my life, and many of them have been learned from Grandma. Throughout my life, Grandma has been a constant. She’s always been involved in our family and always been there to help or lead or bless. I can think of many influential people in my life, but I think if I had to assess who has influenced me the most over my lifetime, she may very well take that title. Not only do I find my Grandma very wise, I also have a lot of respect for the woman she is. That isn’t because she hasn’t made any mistakes or walks with God “perfectly”. In fact, I think one of the most respectable things about my Grandma has been her openness and honesty in her pain, sins and weaknesses. She is humble and has never sugar coated her weaknesses and struggle with sin or her pains throughout her own life, but instead, she has openly shared about her hurts and admitted her sin and her desperate need for God’s grace.

Along with my deep love and admiration for my Grandma, there are also memories of my not so deep appreciation for her. See, as a child, instead of respecting and admiring her, I often avoided her. Not for any real legitimate reason. As a child I perceived her as strict and stern and quite the work-horse. I remember, my brother and sister and I would realize she was at our house and we would all look at each other and say, “Quick, Grandma’s here, let’s hide so we don’t have to clean!” She and my Grandpa would come over to our house and help my parents with yard work and she would clean my Dad’s medical office. I remember many Saturday mornings waking up to the sound of the lawn-mower and the smell of the fresh cut grass and smiling knowing that my Grandpa was just outside! I absolutely adored my Grandpa! He was one of a kind. Around us kids he always had a smile and a joke. And I remember, he always wanted a coke with ice while he was mowing in the hot sun. They worked hard and one memory Grandma never lets me live down is after one of those long days of yard work. She came in all sweaty and sat down with me on her lap with a coke and ice in hand. Soon I looked at her and said, “Grandma, your armpits stink!” I was an honest kid, what can I say?!

As a younger child, she would often tell us kids we needed to “help” our mother and clean up the house. Soon she would be putting us to work loading a dishwasher, emptying a trash can or cleaning the many rooms we had dirtied. She was consistent! Every time she visited we always were made to clean or help in some way. Of course this was just such an awful thing as a child, because all I ever wanted to do was be a fairy or an Indian princess or a world famous singer or a gymnast! Certainly the words, “clean-up” or “help your mother” never entered my busy-in-a-world-of-fantasy mind.

My Grandpa seemed so much more laid back, he was funny and always just wanted to make us laugh. Now, who wouldn’t love that kind of guy right?! Grandma was loud and bold and knew how to put us in our place. Grandpa was the one with funny stories to tell and I can still hear his dutch-i-fied voice saying, “Now Abigail!” if I was doing something I shouldn’t. But from as early as I can remember, Grandma would share openly that he was not my blood Grandpa. I could have cared less because he was the most amazing Grandpa and will always be more than a real Grandpa to me! But, this leads me to the first lesson my Grandma ever taught me.

While Grandma was making us fold laundry I remember one of the first times I was old enough to really understand what she was saying when she would talk about Grandpa not being our blood Grandpa. I think that is the first time I recall asking many questions regarding that information. I remember her telling the story of her sin. She called it that very plainly. But she also always called my mom exactly what she is and was to her; a blessing! Grandma knew that her sexual encounter was out of God’s design for our lives, but she also believed that God blessed her even in that sin and allowed her, “the greatest gift”; my mom! Grandma told us it was only once, and that once is all it takes. She told us never to have pre-marital sex because it was outside of God’s design and that she knew she had chosen sin that night. She taught me one of life’s greatest lessons in those talks she would have with us about how my mom came to be. She taught me the value of my body and keeping it pure for God. She taught me the importance of valuing God’s word and doing my best to live by it. She also taught me that God’s grace is big enough for when I (like we, in our humanity, tend to do) mess up. She taught me that His great grace calls us to higher living though, and to strive for purity and integrity.

In sharing her story of her sin she has taught me many lessons. I will share more of these lessons in other posts. But, for right now I’d like to focus on the lesson to value my body and keep it pure. In doing so, it shows that I value God’s Word and doing my best to live by it. She taught me that because this was out of God’s design for our lives things were very difficult for her. She struggled to make ends meet, she faced much adversity and she had to face many difficult choices and many painful reactions to her pregnancy.

However, despite the struggles and pain she faced in her pregnancy, she never once considered “ending the pregnancy” an option for her. Even in the face of her boss telling her essentially to “go take care of the problem” and return in the fall like nothing happened and she would be able to keep her job then. Instead, she kept her baby and essentially “got rid” of the job. That was my Grandma! Because yes, she is a bold and strong woman. She is also an incredibly committed woman. I’ve seen her display this particular quality in many areas of her life: motherhood, remaining pure after recommitting herself to God and His plan in light of her pregnancy outside of marriage, her marriage to my Grandpa, her love for sports, and her commitment to her church.

Back to the lesson of valuing my body. Valuing my body does not just mean remaining physically pure, it also entails, for me, to honor my body as a temple of the Lord in all areas… Sexually, with what I eat and drink and ingest (or don’t ingest), with what I listen to and what I watch, what I think about and how I behave. Valuing my body has been a lesson that for me encompasses so much more than just a premarital commitment to sexual purity, it has been a lifelong goal and purpose of mine to follow God’s commands in all areas of honoring Him with my body. Just because she has taught me this lesson does not mean I have perfected this, but it is something I feel God continually teaches and draws me closer to Him in.  Many times I’ve failed and many times I’ve succeeded at overcoming an area of weakness, struggle or vulnerability. He is with me in it all, with grace enough to sustain me! And I feel my Grandma’s life lesson teaching me to keep on pursuing valuing my body as His temple and for that, I am so grateful!

Throughout this blog I would love to hear feedback from you on life lessons from those in your life who have most influenced or taught you valuable life lessons! It is inspiring to share our hearts and the best lessons just have to be shared!