Along with my deep love and admiration for my Grandma, there
are also memories of my not so deep appreciation for her. See, as a child,
instead of respecting and admiring her, I often avoided her. Not for any real
legitimate reason. As a child I perceived her as strict and stern and quite the
work-horse. I remember, my brother and sister and I would realize she was at
our house and we would all look at each other and say, “Quick, Grandma’s here,
let’s hide so we don’t have to clean!” She and my Grandpa would come over to
our house and help my parents with yard work and she would clean my Dad’s
medical office. I remember many Saturday mornings waking up to the sound of the
lawn-mower and the smell of the fresh cut grass and smiling knowing that my
Grandpa was just outside! I absolutely adored my Grandpa! He was one of a kind.
Around us kids he always had a smile and a joke. And I remember, he always
wanted a coke with ice while he was mowing in the hot sun. They worked hard and
one memory Grandma never lets me live down is after one of those long days of
yard work. She came in all sweaty and sat down with me on her lap with a coke
and ice in hand. Soon I looked at her and said, “Grandma, your armpits stink!”
I was an honest kid, what can I say?!
As a younger child, she would often tell us kids we needed
to “help” our mother and clean up the house. Soon she would be putting us to
work loading a dishwasher, emptying a trash can or cleaning the many rooms we
had dirtied. She was consistent! Every time she visited we always were made to
clean or help in some way. Of course this was just such an awful thing as a
child, because all I ever wanted to do was be a fairy or an Indian princess or
a world famous singer or a gymnast! Certainly the words, “clean-up” or “help
your mother” never entered my busy-in-a-world-of-fantasy mind.
My Grandpa seemed so much more laid back, he was funny and
always just wanted to make us laugh. Now, who wouldn’t love that kind of guy
right?! Grandma was loud and bold and knew how to put us in our place. Grandpa
was the one with funny stories to tell and I can still hear his dutch-i-fied
voice saying, “Now Abigail!” if I was doing something I shouldn’t. But from as
early as I can remember, Grandma would share openly that he was not my blood
Grandpa. I could have cared less because he was the most amazing Grandpa and
will always be more than a real Grandpa to me! But, this leads me to the first
lesson my Grandma ever taught me.
While Grandma was making us fold laundry I remember one of
the first times I was old enough to really understand what she was saying when
she would talk about Grandpa not being our blood Grandpa. I think that is the
first time I recall asking many questions regarding that information. I
remember her telling the story of her sin. She called it that very plainly. But
she also always called my mom exactly what she is and was to her; a blessing!
Grandma knew that her sexual encounter was out of God’s design for our lives,
but she also believed that God blessed her even in that sin and allowed her,
“the greatest gift”; my mom! Grandma told us it was only once, and that once is
all it takes. She told us never to have pre-marital sex because it was outside
of God’s design and that she knew she had chosen sin that night. She taught me
one of life’s greatest lessons in those talks she would have with us about how
my mom came to be. She taught me the value of my body and keeping it pure for
God. She taught me the importance of valuing God’s word and doing my best to
live by it. She also taught me that God’s grace is big enough for when I (like
we, in our humanity, tend to do) mess up. She taught me that His great grace
calls us to higher living though, and to strive for purity and integrity.
In sharing her story of her sin she has taught me many
lessons. I will share more of these lessons in other posts. But, for right now
I’d like to focus on the lesson to value my body and keep it pure. In doing so,
it shows that I value God’s Word and doing my best to live by it. She taught me
that because this was out of God’s design for our lives things were very
difficult for her. She struggled to make ends meet, she faced much adversity
and she had to face many difficult choices and many painful reactions to her
pregnancy.
However, despite the struggles and pain she faced in her
pregnancy, she never once considered “ending the pregnancy” an option for her.
Even in the face of her boss telling her essentially to “go take care of the
problem” and return in the fall like nothing happened and she would be able to
keep her job then. Instead, she kept her baby and essentially “got rid” of the
job. That was my Grandma! Because yes, she is a bold and strong woman. She is
also an incredibly committed woman. I’ve seen her display this particular
quality in many areas of her life: motherhood, remaining pure after
recommitting herself to God and His plan in light of her pregnancy outside of
marriage, her marriage to my Grandpa, her love for sports, and her commitment
to her church.
Back to the lesson of valuing my body. Valuing my body does
not just mean remaining physically pure, it also entails, for me, to honor my
body as a temple of the Lord in all areas… Sexually, with what I eat and drink
and ingest (or don’t ingest), with what I listen to and what I watch, what I
think about and how I behave. Valuing my body has been a lesson that for me
encompasses so much more than just a premarital commitment to sexual purity, it
has been a lifelong goal and purpose of mine to follow God’s commands in all
areas of honoring Him with my body. Just because she has taught me this lesson
does not mean I have perfected this, but it is something I feel God continually
teaches and draws me closer to Him in. Many
times I’ve failed and many times I’ve succeeded at overcoming an area of
weakness, struggle or vulnerability. He is with me in it all, with grace enough
to sustain me! And I feel my Grandma’s life lesson teaching me to keep on
pursuing valuing my body as His temple and for that, I am so grateful!
Throughout this blog I would love to hear
feedback from you on life lessons from those in your life who have most
influenced or taught you valuable life lessons! It is inspiring to share our
hearts and the best lessons just have to be shared!
